The Grouch's Election Report

Shiftless Blacks, Lazy Hispanics, and Slutty Women Put Obama Over The Top           

Now there’s a sub-title that probably caught your eye.  I wasn’t aware that these sorts of people had propelled Obama to an Electoral College landslide in the recent election, but apparently that is the case.  I know that because Ann Coulter, Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity pointed it out in the first days after the election.

It appears the country has reached the tipping point with more than 50% of the population being  “takers” and something less than 50% are “doers.”  Apparently, these more than 50% of “takers” voted for Obama because they want free stuff from the government.  In other words they are looking for handouts.  So who are these “takers?”  I guess you would have to include the 90% plus of African-Americans, 75% of Hispanic, and the 55% of woman voters who supported Obama.

Up until Rush, Ann and Sean, along with a host of other right wing politicians and commentators, explained what was motivating these demographics to support Obama, the Grouch thought he had a pretty good handle on why they might have voted the way they did.

It seemed logical that African-Americans would have a hard time supporting the people who used a deceptively edited video to destroy Acorn, an organization that provided services to poor African-American communities.  I thought there was a chance that when they tried to destroy the career of Labor Department employee Shirley Sherrod with another video hack job, black people might have taken notice.  It seemed logical that they might not have liked Paul Ryan’s budget that would have entailed deep cuts to social programs in favor of more tax cuts for the rich and powerful.  The thinly disguised voter suppression laws, pushed by Republicans across the country, might have upset people whose grandparents could tell them about their first hand experience with Jim Crow.

But most of all, I suspected they didn’t like the barely veiled racist campaign the right pursued from the first day of the first black president’s administration.  Fox News and its allies tried to paint the President as an angry black man, who hates white people.  They questioned his legitimacy through birther nonsense and made up a fantasy Obama, who was a communist, socialist, Muslim, atheist coming for your guns.   Some Republican clown even heckled the President during his State of the Union Address and Arizona’s demented governor wagged her withered claw in the President’s face because he had refused to waste his time providing her with a publicity opportunity.  Mitt smiled and stayed silent while his surrogates lectured the President on how to be an American.  He even tried his hand at a birther joke at a campaign stop in Michigan.  Mitt made a special trip to accept the endorsement of Donald Trump, who had made a complete fool of himself concerning the President’s birth place and then decided to double down on the lunacy by ginning up some demented theory concerning the President’s college transcripts.

I have to admit, the Grouch was wrong about all of the above, and the reason African-Americans voted for Obama was because they wanted free stuff from the government.

I apparently was wrong about the Hispanic vote too.  After years of close observation, I have concluded that most Hispanic people are various shades of brown.  After a little reading about their history, I concluded, they too, have been the victims of racism.  So I thought they might have noticed the same things black people were witnessing.

Additionally, Republican opposition to the Dream Act, talk about building that big electric fence on the border, and laws designed to make them prove their citizenship to any cop or authority who wanted to harass them might not have left them with kind thoughts for the Republican party.  The last Republican President’s immigration reform legislation was scuttled by the Republican House. Mitt suggested “self deportation” (make life so miserable here they go home) as a solution.  The right’s way of always talking about “illegals” without ever acknowledging the contributions made by Hispanics to our country’s well being might have rankled a few Hispanic.

Of course, I have come to learn that none of this mattered because Hispanics voted for Obama to get free stuff.

And that brings us to our last free stuff voters.  Once again, I mistakenly thought that Republican attacks and Mitt’s pledge to close Planned Parenthood on his first day in office might have upset woman voters.  The millions of woman who depend on Planned Parenthood for essential medical care might have found the Republican dedication to getting rid of Planned Parenthood troubling.

When the Republican controlled House, which had campaigned in 2010 on jobs, jobs, jobs, introduced more than 1100 new bills affecting woman’s reproductive rights in their first year of control, woman took notice.  These small government advocates wanted the government to impose medical procedures on women exercising their constitutional right to make medical decisions about their own bodies, that include forcing doctors to shove instruments into them for no medical reason.

I had thought woman may have been offended when Rush called a student, who had the audacity, to testify before congress in favor of insurance coverage for birth control, a slut and suggested she film her sexual encounters so that tax payers could watch.  Other leading lights, like Republican presidential wannabe, Rick Santorum, suggested states should be able to outlaw birth control all together.  The right appeared to want to reopen the debate on many issues woman had fought for over the last 40 years.

And then there was rape.  Republicans running for both statewide and federal elective office took to the airwaves to express their views that a child conceived by rape was God’s will and suggested that women’s bodies had a secret anti-sperm shield that prevented pregnancy in the case of “legitimate” rape.  Another idiot expressed his view that pregnancy as a result of rape almost never happens.  And finally, we had a whole host of Republican candidates who were against any exceptions in an abortion ban including cases of rape, incest, and even to save the life of the mother.

Then of course, Mitt refused to say whether he would seek to repeal the Lilly Ledbetter Equal Pay Law, which makes it easier for women who experience wage discrimination to seek redress in the courts.

So please forgive the Grouch for again misreading this group’s motivation for voting the way they did.

While the “takers” have been ruining the country, the “doers” have not been twiddling their thumbs these past 30 years or so.  After all, they have been spending millions (to make hundreds of millions) lobbying congress to pass the carried interest tax exemption and reduce the capital gains tax to a top bracket of 15%, both of which have contributed to the largest income disparity since the Guilded Age. They have manipulated the tax system so that they could stash millions in places like the Cayman Islands, Switzerland and The Isle of Man. They also worked very hard to retain the oil depletion allowance, even in the face of record profits.  They lead a years long assault on the Glass Steagall Act, which helped lead directly to the 2008 melt down.  They grew to be too big to fail and crashed the economy through their mismanagement and criminal activity and then looked to the government for hundreds of billions of dollars to bail them out.  They worked tirelessly to do away with the Inheritance Tax so they could pass their obscene wealth on to their offspring. And finally, they have fought furiously to either repeal or prevent meaningful regulation to curb their excesses.  The one thing they haven’t been doing is creating jobs, unless you count the jobs they have sent overseas to countries that pay low wages and have weak environmental protection laws.  So it seems there has been a wee bit of taking going on from our patriotic “doers.”

Now the Grouch is the last person to offer advice to conservatives, but for God’s sake, Wake Up!  The population of the U.S. is changing.  A political party that insults women, blacks, Hispanics, young people, gays and thinking people everywhere can not succeed in a national election anymore.  Your party’s craziness has handed the Democrats a ready-made coalition that could propel them to victory for the foreseeable future.  Unless you change, your only hope is that the Democrats well-known propensity for snatching defeat from the jaws of victory will save you.  There are a lot of good people who believe in conservatism and there is a place for you in the national dialogue.  In fact, the country needs your ideas.  But those ideas need to be based in reality and not be in the service of a racist, anti-science, fantasy that will only succeed in further degrading our democracy and handing our destiny to plutocrats beholding only to themselves.  Conservatives need a new William F Buckley, who helped drive the crazies in the John Birch Society out of the Republican Party back in the 50’s and 60’s.

A first step might be to stop listening to the likes of Rush, Ann, Sean, Bill O’Reilly and Glenn Beck.  Don’t expect them to change their acts because they have made millions off of your support and will need to double down on the dog whistle racism, deception, conspiracy theories and fear mongering to continue on that gravy train.  Stop listening, stop buying their books, let their sponsors know you have jumped ship, and most important, let your elected officials know they no longer need to fear these prophets of doom.  On election night Republicans were stunned by the results because they had been told for weeks before the election, by Fox News, that Romney was going to win and not just win a close race but would most likely win by a landslide.  Even if you give no credence to the studies that show Fox News viewers are less informed about current affairs than people who watch nothing at all, you have to wonder how they could have gotten this so wrong. Roger Ailes, who runs Fox News, is reportedly a pragmatist.  Let him know you want more news, albeit from a conservative viewpoint, and less propaganda and distortion.  He will listen to you, so make a call, sign a petition and make your leaders more responsible to your needs.

The country is changing.  Look out Texas – another Hispanic baby was born just a minute ago.  Look at the bright side.  Your growing Hispanic population may yet, some day, save you from your bat shit, crazy selves.

The Grouch wants to help.  So here is an exercise you can do to help you regain credibility with the various segments of our society that have abandoned your politicians.  It can work with any group but let’s use Hispanic people for this first exercise.

Ok, the first part of the exercise is the purge.  Close your eyes and think of Hispanics as hordes of brown people coming to take our jobs and bankrupt us by using our schools, hospitals and social services.  Think of the gun toting cartel members trying to hook our kids on narcotics.  Now let those images fade, let them slip away, they’re almost gone, they’re gone!

Now think of people who come to your community with a wonderful entrepreneurial spirit and open grocery stores, restaurants, auto repair shops, barbershops, bakeries, legal offices, and roofing and remodeling businesses.  Think of the revitalization of the part of your town that just a few years ago was boarded up and was producing little or no tax revenue for your city.  Think of these people as loving parents who are raising well-behaved and happy children.  Think of them as extremely hard working people who send a little money to their parents in the old country and strive to ensure their kids will have a better life than theirs.  Finally, think of them as your friends and neighbors who are adding to the mosaic that is America.  Once you have internalized this vision, you will be able to craft policies that will encourage Hispanic Americans to consider conservative ideas.

No need to thank the Grouch.  He is happy to help.